Sgraffito^[1]: Part 2

" . That is your name, isn't it?" Kanmuri Shun prodded, smiling so blindingly that she couldn't help but blink. Here was a vision of perfect loveliness, so picturesque, the shades and tints so well done, (she could sigh and gaze at it for hours), the contours so solidly defined – the eyelashes, the aquiline nose, the lips that were actually talking to her.

Wait. What?

Kanmuri Shun was standing by her locker.

"Hello?" He was waving a hand close to her face, the motion as if intended to bring her back from dreamland. ", , right?"

"Yes, yes. That's me," she breathed. "Uhm, what's… up?" She was an idiot. Only she could mangle a two-worded inquiry and make it sound like she wasn't actually giving him a standard greeting but was genuinely puzzled by her own question. She tried again. "Uhh… is there anything I can help you with?"

"I remember you!" The Vision enthused. One perfect arm was propped on top of her dingy locker door. "You work at that place – I can't remember the name of it –-"

"Dan's Sweet Shop." She finished for him happily. She was smiling, too. He actually noticed! "I was helping out a friend. I go there often after school. I see you there, too, that's why – I mean, yeah," she hastily corrected herself, "I think I've seen you there sometimes – I never thought we went to the same school!"

Yeah, right. She actually stole into the teacher's office and flipped through his student records to see him at the store "sometimes." But she wasn't going to tell him that.

"They have really good food in there." Kanmuri's toothpaste-commercial teeth gleamed. "Which is why I was thinking of getting my club members to go there to eat today for one of our meetings. Let's see. There's twenty of us and I think some of the guys' girlfriends will stop by later. Think you can get us a discount?"

"Yeah. Definitely." said, trying to stop herself but not succeeding. "Absolutely. Great."

"So, see you then? Five o'clock?"

"Yes, of course. Wonderful. Great."

"It's a date." Another beam, a tap on the shoulder, and he leisurely walked past her.

almost swooned. It sounded like he was asking her out. Well, it was just an expression but glorious progress – he wasn't creeped out! He smiled! He even touched her! Oh my god, she couldn't wait. She stroked her right shoulder softly, thinking that she was never to wash it again when she remembered something.

Oh, right.

She was also never talking to Dan Taichi ever again.

So she was a coward. It was a strange day when Dan was looked at her with lost eyes, so desperate and seemingly prepared for the worst. She never knew until then that his eyes were a pretty pale gray, with little hints of green around the edges. She never knew that his eyes could look more than the usual nice and warm, when they crinkled around the corners as she made him laugh. She never knew they could actually be so mesmerizing. Spine-tingling.

shivered. They were supposed to be friends, nothing more. She had met him in Yamabuki Middle School, when he was still so in love with Akutsu Jin. She giggled at the thought. His eyes used to have a maniacal glint those days, the fanaticism even contaminating hers. Together, they went to Akutsu's matches, drew banners, wrote cheers, running amok around the school. It was exhilarating fun. She used to laugh when she caught herself being so into it, she would be skipping and jumping to the sound of Akutsu's snappish tone for no reason at all. She laughed when Dan's eyes lit up at the mention of Akutsu's name. His eyes, those eyes, they were different now.

Sigh. She mustn't think about Dan Taichi, his eyes or any other body parts.

Except that she remembered his hands, his fingers silkily tracing the imaginary lines on her face… his head tilting, his lips closing in, slowly, so slowly, biding his time…

Stop. sighed. What was she going to do now? Dan was such a nuisance, he was ruining her pure thoughts of what should be about Kanmuri, the running around the fields, the white curtains on the clothesline flailing and flapping, the laughing and the cute cuddly Kanmuri babies. How dare he invade those thoughts! It was Kanmuri she liked. Kanmuri alone.

Well, she had to talk to him soon. The Vision was going to Dan's shop today and perhaps, today, she would also make everything clear to him, once and for all. She would pretend and ignore the awkwardness seeping through their friendship. Surely, that moron just tripped on something and accidentally leaned too close last time. She didn't sprint in escape but avoided it by telling him she had something to do and she had to go. They were friends. She mustn't jump to conclusions. They should remain the way they were, maybe forever. Kanmuri was her other kind of future, she smiled dreamily. Life was how it's supposed to be.

Right. Who was she kidding?

**********

"Hey."

Dan looked up to see with a cheery smile on her face. She had let herself inside the counter and was presently donning a blue apron, preening at the glass drawers as she did. She ran her fingers through her hair and blew a kiss at her reflection. What the heck?

"Ready to work today?" Dan asked, convincing himself that he sounded very nonchalant. The silly, stupid girl. He raised an eyebrow. "Didn't see you for a couple of days. You up to something?"

"Don't be a moron. I had deadlines to meet," she replied haughtily. "Unlike some people I know, I do my homework and do it on time."

"Hey! Who was the one who bombed her Math exam and practically begged for help? And who helped her?" Dan continued dramatically. "Simple 'thank you's' are just so hard to come by these days. Too many ungrateful girls."

"Oh, shush." She leaned on the counter, blowing the errant tendrils framing her face. She turned to grin at him, and gave him a playful shove. "Get to work."

"And you, what will you be doing?"

"Ordering you about, of course. That's my job."

He playfully shoved back. Light teasing, nothing serious. "Oh, really. Your job?"

"That's right." She shoved him again, then crossed her arms. "Now back to the kitchen, minion."

She was in full form today, he thought.

He cornered her from behind. "Not until I do this."

He tickled her. His hands poked her sides and she doubled up in surprise and laughter. She was trying to fend him off, weakly, since she was short of breath from laughing and giggling, "Stop it, Dan." It only provoked him to tickle her more. "Stooop."

"Minion, huh?" She was trying to get out of his grasp but now her back was against the counter and his hands were on both sides, effectively trapping her. He had her now. "I'm the boss here. You do what I say."

Silence. He swore they both had stopped breathing. He was leaning too close, too painfully close, he realized. Just like that other time. Any minute now and she would forcefully yank his hands so she could get out. What was supposed to be a friendly ice-breaker, well, this wasn't what was supposed to happen, was it? Nobody wanted another awkward repeat. Yet he was powerless to resist. The pull. The force. Drawing him in – her eyelids were half-hooded now, so seductive – his gaze roamed lower, her lips, half ajar, seemingly waiting for a kiss. Dizzying, this prelude. Dizzying, spiraling, and he was utterly lost.

The shop door opened and a million students barraged in.

"Good afternoon, !" One of them yelled, completely breaking the spell and Dan followed 's gaze as she predictably yanked herself out of his embrace.

It was Kanmuri.

**********

"This is not good, this is not good, this is not good," was mumbling as she went back and forth from tables to the counter, taking in orders, and bringing back drinks and sweets that Dan had slammed on the trays. "This is so not good."

"Hey, ! Can you come over here for a second?" Kanmuri was gesturing to his table, his friends smiling at her and toasting to her as she gradually approached. "Hey guys, this is the pretty girl I was telling you about. She's giving us discounts for our food today."

He winked and blushed. He thought she was pretty! "Uhh, hi." She glanced quickly at Dan who was still on the counter, ringing up to-go purchases. She couldn't tell with his now blank face if he heard the exchange. Kanmuri was introducing his friends to her, one by one. She bowed distractedly. "Uhh… yeah. Doozo yoroshiku."

"Uhmm… so." She looked at Dan again. Some girl was talking to him now, idly playing with the curls in her hair and batting her eyelashes. She frowned. Dan was smiling infuriatingly as the little slag whispered something to his ear. How dare he? "What did you guys want again?" She asked Kanmuri's friends brightly.

She determinedly listed their orders and marched up to where the other girl was standing. Her arm roughly brushed the other girl's as she opened the counter door. "Hey!" ignored her.

"There are six people still waiting for their cakes." She spat at a bewildered Dan. The girl was walking up to her friends' table, walking bouncily and annoyingly. "And you're here… well. Hurry it up. I'm waiting."

"Cakes coming up for the master," Dan murmured, eyeing her sardonically. "Didn't know we had a discount, by the way? How much is it, huh? 90 per cent for the love of your life?"

"It's a little lower than that, but hey, it's your store. I'll do what you say." She carefully placed the sweets on a tray, though she could feel her fingers shaking in anger.

She pasted another brilliant smile and was putting the cakes on the Kanmuri's table when at the corner of her eye, she saw the girl back at Dan's counter. They were chatting animatedly. She unconsciously slammed one order. The guy who sat directly to the cake goggled at her. "Sorry," she said. She looked to see Dan smiling again. Gah. Infuriating. She slammed another plate on the table. "Sorry, sorry." Then Dan was reaching his hands out of the counter and the girl was tiptoeing in a tight hug. She could feel her face heat up.

"," Kanmuri tugged at her hand but she wasn't paying attention. How dare he? How dare that Dan Taichi! She wrenched her hand out of Kanmuri's gentle grip and walked towards Dan and the bimbo bubblehead. She was glaring daggers at both of them.

"What's wrong?" Dan asked as he released the pouting girl.

was quiet.

"Hey!" But she was ignoring him. Served him right, slagging off in front of her. She proceeded to rearrange the food on the sweets racks.

"Well, I'm off, Dan-kun. See you later." The girl touched his cheek and gave a snooty once-over. Dan-kun! The nerve of that girl. She grabbed a damp towel and squeezed it with all her might, then scrubbed the material on a nearby plate.

"You didn't tell me you have a girlfriend." She intoned, murderously. "I've been your friend for years and you didn't even let me know."

"So what if I had? What difference does it make?" He replied softly. "Why the sudden interest?" Dan could only hope yet he pressed on, "Jealous?"

flared up at that. She whispered angrily, "I assure you, I am not jealous. I'm never going to be jealous. Please. Who you see is your business. It's just common courtesy for supposed friends to tell each other things, even if you seem to think this practice petty or unimportant."

"Really. And that's why Kanmuri's getting a food discount at my store without my permission, right? That's why he's here and I didn't know, right? And to think – I thought – maybe I'm just stupid…"

"You know what else is a secret? You may think this petty and unimportant but you know what?" 's anger faltered. She looked at him. There it was again. The eyes that were lost and desperate and oh, she didn't know what to think anymore. She opened her mouth to say: stop this, stop this before everything changes when we both know everything's already changed…

But Dan pressed on, oblivious to the now-hushed crowd, 's and his whispering audible to eager high school ears. A busy sweet shop, full of noises that interrupt and overlap each other, that was for another business day. This was another time, a time not unlike the one they shared earlier, or two days ago. And he wasn't going to let it pass, again, and damned if he would regret the words that would spill out of him next.

"I think you know. You do but you don't want me to tell you… you don't want me to say it but I will. I like you. Are you that naïve or that pretentious? I like you. I probably love you. I have for years and yet you, you daydream about him, you talk about him," he motioned to a surprised Kanmuri ("What? Who? Me?"), "you tell me you want him. You always want another guy, even if it only lasts a few days, a few months. But you never say you want me. Even if I have wanted you, only you, for years."

's mouth was opening and closing, the words stuck in her throat in this time of revelations. She could only stand there, looking stupid, not wanting to think, and not wanting to admit to anything. They had always been friends, and this was too fast, or too slow as she had been used to this elaborate dance. For years and years that she had only realized that Dan was getting impatient.

She heard him sigh. So resignedly. So final. But her mouth just continued gaping.

"I'm out of here."

And he left.

**********

She felt alone at the shop, still ringing orders, still getting the checks, still muddling through the haze of Dan's departure. Kanmuri was at her side, looking at her sadly. They all were, as they came up to the counter to pay for their purchases.

She could feel hot tears threatening to form from her eyes. Kanmuri must have noticed because he told the remaining people in line, "That's it today, folks. We're closing up." He even shooed his friends away.

When the last customer was out the door, she began to sob. She felt ashamed. Not only because of the earlier debacle with Dan, but realizing that Kanmuri was there, comforting a girl who had only just now realized she had been using him all this time.

Kanmuri tipped her tremulous chin. "You know what to do, don't you?"

"I'm sorry," she said.

He winced. "You don't have to tell me that." He took a napkin out of the counter and gingerly tried to dry her tears. "Tell him that."

"I just," she blew her nose loudly on the offered napkin that she could hear Kanmuri jerk in astonishment. "I thought we were friends, only friends. And I thought I was already comfortable with that – I couldn't ruin it. Besides, he's a moron."

Kanmuri smiled. "You like that moron."

"Well, yes. But he has a girlfriend! That moron." She blew her nose again. Her angry eyes were still in tears. "He admitted it! He had said, what if I had? Oooh. Such a hypocrite. Wait. He did say, what if I had, right, Kanmuri? Like in the past tense?"

"Like in the past tense."

"Oh, god. I'm the moron. Idiot, idiot, idiot." She was pacing now, tears forgotten. "Big fat idiot. Stupid denial queen. Liar."

She kept on with the self-taunts while Kanmuri, only fascinated for about two minutes of the display, examined his fingernails and said, "Stop dawdling, ."

"I'm not."

"Pfft. Scaredy-cat." He gently pushed her out of the door. "You are a moron. Now, go after him."

**********

"Do I have to?" He could hear a whinging voice echoing from a few stairs down. He was currently lying down the roofless fourth floor building of Yamabuki High School. Sigh, and he thought he could get some peace here, drowning in thoughts of . Rewinding the scenes where he had messed up really badly.

"Kanmuri… what if he's not here?" the whinging voice was becoming louder, signaling its close distance to where he was. He sat up. "What if… he's changed his mind?"

He heard another voice reply. "Well, if that happens, then you're both morons. Though that would be good news for me. I'm not sure yet. I really did think you were cute, you know. Even if you were staring at me oddly like a deranged stalker half the time I ate at the sweet shop."

"So you thought I was?" Her voice was plaintive. It was ! Dan tried to relax. "Dan told me the same thing."

"Smart man. Now, go on up. Three's a crowd and all that."

"Do I really have to do this alone?"

Dan couldn't stand it anymore. But he was smiling, was pestering Kanmuri so stubbornly, he could imagine him strangling her mentally. No thoughts of 's cuteness would remain in his head, only murder. Dan walked towards their shadows.

"I'm here, ."

"Dan…"

He could see a relieved and grinning Kanmuri retreating towards the dark. Here they were again, where only Dan and existed and everything else was dull and poorly lit shadows, blurs of no importance at all.

Silence. Again with he absolute silence.

Abruptly, he held her hand. He pulled her close. There was nary a sign of protest. Surely, there was an uncertain smile but then Dan had never felt so sure in his life but this moment. That was alright.

So they go back in time, to the sweet shop, to when they first met, to the moments that they knew in their heart, they were truly in love, where there no doubts, only truths they would never take back… drawing in, close, and oh so slowly, hugging, kissing, so unhurriedly, biding their time.

##########

August 9, 2006
Written and edited by: linchpin

^[1] The term comes from the Italian word sgraffire which means (literally) "to scratch". The technique involves scratching through a layer of still-wet paint to reveal what’s underneath, whether this is a dried layer of paint or the white canvas/paper. [link]