Hikari no Naka de, Yami ga Aru (IN LIGHT, THERE IS DARKNESS)

  • Posted on: February 8, 2018
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Four months ago, I was scheduled to fly to the US in order to attend a conference. It almost didn’t push through because of that ill-fated incident in Las Vegas, Nevada. There was a sense of distress around me, with calls coming in from my manager (reminding me that I don’t have to go) and my parents who called me all the way from Winnipeg to check and see if I am doing alright. However I went on with my trip after listening to the news. I wasn’t entirely scared and also I didn’t want my husband to worry (who, at that time, was in Italy). I am not entirely sure what made me decide to go despite those conflicting feelings and thoughts.

The whole week felt a bit stuffy, as I pretty much stayed inside the hotel, never really left after each day of the conference session. On my last evening there I decided to skip the customer appreciation party and opted to walk around the area to get some fresh air. Prior to my departure I instinctively grabbed my Lomo LC-Wide and a couple rolls of film, thinking that I will most likely need it. For the past decade that I have been shooting as a hobby, photography has helped me cope with a lot of things, and my confusion towards what happened that week might somehow help me get by and make sense of out things. I know I feel strongly about the violence, despair, and lost of lives that happened, but at the same time there was this sense of relief that a good friend of mine (who picked me up at the airport, and was working an evening shift when the incident happen) was safe.

I ended up using one roll of Fuji Neopan 1600 and walked around the vicinity of the incident, just to take pictures, clear my head, and see how people were getting by. We were told that given the nature of the city, having the visitors’ support is very important to its residents and workers. Las Vegas is a city of lights and nightlife, but I definitely felt the darkness within the flashing neon signs.

It took me sometime to develop this roll of film, but here they are.

??????????? (hikari no naka de, yami ga aru)

IN LIGHT, THERE IS DARKNESS.