But this article is not really about promenades, or one’s first kiss or first love. Recently some of my friends back from the Philippines were in uproar about the issue of Charter Change. I can still remember how “Cha-Cha” was an issue I think during Ramos’ term -– I was about to enter high school that time. Who would have thought that a decade after, some people will revive Cha-cha’s beat and invite everyone to dance with them?

Sadly I think the steps are out of fashion. People in the government should try something new. Something better. Something that will not make them –- and us -– look stupid.

I believe that the Philippines deserves a lot better than the traditional politicians that are currently enjoying their seats in their offices. Whether the Filipino people put them there, or these trapos put themselves there, I have no idea. The Filipinos can complain all they want, too. One could propose to start the change within ourselves, or try to re-do the system altogether. But at the end of the day, if it’s only a small group of people who will mobilize themselves; if it’s a huge number of people who are in public office and are having a grand time corrupting the system; if there’s a considerable number of people who will not even try to understand what this whole “dance craze” is all about and how it will affect the people and the country, then pardon this pun but ako mismo ang magsasabi, nothing good’s going to materialize, and the country will end up in shambles (if it isn’t already).

I try to avoid talking about politics. I guess it is one area that makes me feel frustrated because I can totally see the problem, but for some reason the solutions are hard to find, or even harder to implement. But I cannot stand the idea that my Inang Bayan is being abused by its citizens. I can spend an entire day pointing out what is wrong and suggest what needs to be done, but I will spare everyone that agony. Nevertheless, this is not the time to worry about other people’s sexual preferences and hold a Senate hearing about it. This is the time that we should again feel concern toward the Philippines. I know a lot of people stopped caring because they deemed their efforts to be futile, due to a number of factors. I know a lot of people think that another (EDSA) revolution will not work. I know a lot of people don’t even know what is going on, and I know a lot of people will only care now and will stop doing so if they get immediate rewards for their actions. Some want to do something but they cannot even do it. It is a sad reality that we have here, and I know, because I used to not care for years.

I know that there is nothing much for me to do, but here I am typing this away. I am sick of people in authority playing games, making fool of the Filipino people. I am tired of having my kababayan react strongly when foreigners point out what is wrong with us and our country, and yet we just let it pass when fellow Filipinos are the ones trying to show us what the country’s ailments are. We are not high schoolers anymore, and we cannot always “believe in magic.” One thing is for sure though, and I have said this before to friends: “Kapag pinasayaw ka ng Cha-cha, dapat ang sabihin mo, ‘I’ll never gonna dance again.’” Dance to the right beat folks, and make sure you’re doing the right steps.

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Originally published at Tinig, under the column, Ibayo.

Rare? I doubt. I know some people who are currently continuing their relationships with people they left in the Philippines. I know some friends who used to keep the same type of relationship, only to end it later on. Some older people here who learn some of the teenage immigrants’ status will quickly shrug it off, claiming that “such relationships won’t work” and “you can always find someone here in the city.” There are questions that arise though: Is it really true that long-distance relationships (LDRs) don’t work? Should we believe what the elderly say and dismiss the idea of maintaining a romantic relationship with a person that are thousand miles away from us?

Perhaps, both opinions are correct, but it depends on how the individuals involved will handle their situation. I have been in this kind of relationship before, and while I treat long-distance relationship as not that different from having your romantic partner easily within reach, there are some aspects of it that are really hard to deal with, particularly the fact that you don’t get to see or talk to each other as often as you want to. Sure, you promised to each other that you’re going to talk to each other every day, but with the adjustments that the other party has to do upon arriving to the new country, this would be very difficult. I’ve encountered people who are scolded by their girl or boy friends back home because they cannot send them text messages everyday, which, for me, is a bit too much.

Personally, I think that long-distance relationships are not for those people who are insecure, narrow-minded, immature and possessive. If you think that a day without a text means that the other party is just having a time of his/her life, then take that as a sign that you’re not suitable for this whole thing. Moving overseas, whether it is a temporary or a permanent thing, entails a lot of hard work-–fixing legal papers, looking for a place to work and a place to stay, adjusting one’s body clock, among other things. If you are used to seeing each other 24/7, then you have to make a huge adjustment. You have to give way. To put it simply, kailangang makibagay ka.

Long-distance relationships demand a lot of time and effort, but I think that this is not the reason for one (or both) parties to be too demanding to the point of damaging the relationship. Maintaining romantic ties with a person away from you means you have to understand each other more, compromise on your changing situations and discuss the things that you are experiencing. I cannot enumerate the things that a couple must do, because order and method varies from person to person. But to summarize it, do something to make the relationship simple and easy to handle. It’s not a piece of cake, but if the couple is up to it, then it will surely work.

So, are the oldies correct when they say that LDRs don’t work? Perhaps they are right when presented with the applicable examples, but I don’t think hearing these discouraging words will eventually discourage people to continue whatever relationship they have. Instead, look at it from a different perspective. If you think they’re wrong, then prove it.

Of course, some LDRs do not work–my experience as an example. Again, these kinds of stories and experiences shouldn’t be a way to weaken a couple’s spirit. It didn’t work for me–but it might work for you, we’ll never know. Again, we are talking about individuals here–people who have different views and perspectives and ways to handle situations.

Probably the best way to look at these kinds of negative experiences is to challenge them. If you think you’re up to this kind of straining and more demanding relationship, and if you really love the person you’re in relationship with despite of the distance, then prepare to work harder in order to maintain it. If you think it won’t work, then it won’t really work. Whether you’re ready to go the distance or not is up to you and your partner. But if the relationship worked despite of the difficulties, expect that the fruits of labor would be definitely be sweeter.

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Originally published at Tinig, under the column, Ibayo.

Dumaan ang ikalawang taon ko sa unibersidad, at sa mga panahong ito ay naitanong ko sa aking sarili kung bakit nga ba walang club para sa mga Pilipinong estudyante. Isa itong malaking palaisipan dahil ang populasyon ng University of Manitoba ay isang halimbawa lamang ng pagiging multicultural ng bansang Canada, at maraming Pilipinong naninirahan sa lungsod kung saan kami nagsimulang tumira ilang taon na rin ang nakakaraan. May mga grupo para sa mga Chinese, sa mga Indian, sa mga Japanese, Taiwanese at Korean, pero bakit walang grupo para sa mga Pilipino? O hindi kaya, bakit wala na ang naunang grupong naitatag?

Hindi ko man nahanap ang kasagutan sa mga tanong na ito, nagkaroon naman ng katuparan ang aking hinihiling nang ako ay sumapit na sa ikatlo kong taon. Sa mga panahong ito, nakahanap ako ng mga kapwa Pilipinong mag-aaral, at tulad ng aking saloobin, naghahanap din sila ng grupong magbibigay tinig sa mga Pilipinong nananalagi at nag-aaral sa nasabing paaralan. Hindi lumaon ay nabuo namin ang panibagong grupo–ang UM-Sigaw.

Minabuti naming tawaging “Sigaw” ang aming grupo dahil alam naming kailangang bigyang tinig ng “Sigaw” ang mga mag-aaral na Pilipino sa University of Manitoba. Layunin din naming pagbigkisin ang mga Pilipino, imigrante man o lumaki na sa Canada, dahil naniniwala kaming hindi dahilan ang pagkamulat sa banyagang kultura o ang permanenteng pagtira sa ibang bansa para itakwil o ipagwalang-bahala ang isang bahagi ng aming pagkatao: ang aming pagiging Pilipino.

Hindi naging madali ang pagtahak tungo sa pagkakaroon ng isang organisasyon sa loob ng unibersidad. Hindi ito dahil sa matagal ang aming hihintayin o masyadong mahigpit ang mga alituntunin sa pagbubuo ng isang grupo. Nakakalungkot mang sabihin, ngunit sa aking palagay, mahirap ang maghanap ng mga kabataang Pilipinong handang maglaan ng oras para makilala ang ilang kababayan. Ang ilan naman ay mahirap lang hagilapin at gawing miyembro dahil sa pagiging abala sa eskuwela, at ang mas nakakalungkot pa, may ibang hayagan nang itinakwil ang pagiging Pilipino (kahit na iilang taon pa lamang dito) o hindi lang talaga interesadong sumali.

Sa kabila ng mga problemang ito ay matagumpay rin naming nabuo ang grupo at nakakuha ng miyembro noong Enero ng taong ito. Nagsimula na rin kaming gawin ang mga proyekto ng grupo para sa susunod na school year upang maipagpatuloy ang pagiging aktibo ng organisasyon. Aaminin ko, hindi pa rin nawawala ang mga problemang nabanggit ko, at hindi maiwasang makaramdam ako ng kalungkutan at panghihinayang sa sitwasyong ito.

Karamihan sa mga migranteng nagpupunta dito sa Canada ay may mga dalang anak na teenagers o young adults. Kung ang mga kabataang ito ay mawawalan ng interes na panatilihin ang wika, kultura at tradisyong kanilang kinalakihan, paano nila ito ibabahagi sa ibang tao, lalo na sa mga kapwa nila kabataang sa ibang kultura at tradisyon na lumaki? Paano na lamang makakatanggap ng peer support ang mga Pilipinong nasa unibersidad kung ang mga Pilipino mismong nag-aaral sa napakalaking pamantasang ito ay hiwa-hiwalay at hindi magbubuklod-buklod?

Sa kabila ng mga nakakadismayang sitwasyon tulad nito, aking iniisip na hindi dapat maging hadlang o maging sanhi ng panghihina ng loob ang mga bagay na ito. Hanggang may nakikilala akong mga kabataang tulad kong handang tumulong upang panatilihin ang grupo sa loob ng unibersidad at maglingkod sa pamayanan ng mga Pilipino rito sa lungsod ng Winnipeg, dapat lamang na magpatuloy sa pagbuo ng proyekto ang organisasyon. Sa ganitong pagkakataon, mananatili ang UM-Sigaw sa pagbibigay boses sa mga Pilipinong mag-aaral sa aming pamantasan.

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Originally published at Tinig, under the column, Ibayo.

Nakakalungkot, nakakadismaya, at higit sa lahat nakakapagod. Palagi na lang nagkakaroon ng tensiyon sa pagitan ng administrasyon at oposisyon, nag-aagawan sa impluwensiya at kapangyarihan. Sa ginagawa nilang kabalbalan ay lalo lang naguguluhan ang sambayanan, hindi alam kung sino ang paniniwalaan, hindi alam kung saan tatayo, at hindi alam kung ano ang gagawin. Mayroon ding nagbibigay ng kanilang opinyon sa kani-kanilang mga blog, at naging saksi ako, bilang isang blogger at mambabasa, sa iba’t ibang opinyon ng mga estudyante, peryodista, o isang simpleng mamamayan, tungkol sa dapat na mangyari sa krisis sa bansa.

Tulad ng naisulat ko na sa isang entry sa aking blog, hindi ako bihasa sa larangan ng pulitika, ngunit sa tingin ko, higit na maaapektuhan dito ay ang mga mamamayang Pilipinong walang-imik. Sila ang laging naiipit kapag nagkakagulo, sila ang hinihingan ng suporta ng mga pulitiko kapag nangangampaya, sa kanila rin nanggagaling ang kapangyarihan. Naaalala lang sila ng mga nasa posisyon kapag kailangan nila ng suporta, ngunit kapag nakuha na nila ang nais nila ay kakalimutan na ang mga tao na para bang walang nangyari.

Sino nga ba kaya ang may kasalanan? Mahirap magturo kung sino ang dapat managot sa pagkakataong ito dahil maaaring tingnan ang problemang ito sa iba’t ibang anggulo. Maaaring sapat nang sabihin nating bilang mamamayan ng bansa (saan ka man ngayon sa mundo) ay dapat tayong managot at gawan ng nararapat na kasagutan ang lahat ng kaguluhang ito. Lahat tayo ay may responsibilidad na gumawa ng tamang desisyon na sa palagay natin ay naaangkop para sa ikabubuti ng sistema ng bansa.

Anuman ang magaganap na pagkilos bilang sagot sa krisis na nangyayari sa Pilipinas ay hindi dapat magmula sa mga naglilider-liderang mga pulitiko, kung hindi sa mga mamamayan mismo. Kailangan nating mag-isip, dahil kung magiging huli ang lahat, hindi lang kahihiyaan sa ating mga sarili ang ating aabutin, at tulad noong isang biro noong taong 2000 at 2001, malamang ay tuluyan nang malublob sa kangkungan ang ating kinabukasan.

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Originally published at Tinig, Issue 43, under the column, Ibayo.

But there is something different happening every time I take the bus. It is when I get on that orange-and-yellow vehicle that I meet people of different races, and of different points of view. Fellow passengers would talk to me about how I look (because some think that I am Chinese, which is quite weird, if you ask me), and some would ask about my age (some think that I am too young to be legal, others say that I look old). Most of the people that I met are old ones. They talk about life, about money, about family — those things that I rarely hear from teenagers like me. But there was one girl, not really far from my age, that made one of my daily bus rides different from the others.

It happened one time I was waiting for a bus that was going downtown. I was listening to my portable mp3 player when a girl around her twenties approached, asking me when the next bus will arrive. Apparently, we were going to ride the same bus, so I told her the time. She waited beside me. She sported a hairdo that was beyond my imagination — tiny and intricate braids and dyed in different colors. Her face had three piercing; one on her nose, one on her cheek and another on her lower lip. Her ears were studded with earrings, and she wore a green sports bra, denim Capri and yellow g-strings. I can tell because her pants were too low on her hips and her underwear was visible.

I was quite reluctant to talk to her, so I pretended that I cannot hear her. I flooded my ears with music. But she was nice enough despite of her “unique” features, so I gave in and we had a short conversation. I learned that she was a Grade 12 drop-out and had different jobs with that. She learned that I am a Filipino, and so she asked me a lot of things about the Philippines: how the government works, what traditions the Filipinos practice, and how the country looks like. I smiled with pride, and despite the fact that I did not like how the current administration “manages” the country; I talked about its other endearing qualities with much enthusiasm. Never had I felt that good by just talking about my country.

I gave her a brief background about the Philippines, and told her how the current government works. She might have sensed the bitterness in my voice, and then I saw her smile and told me that things happen. It is sad, she said, but we Filipinos should not lose hope. I was stunned and looked at her. How ironic to hear such words from a Canadian — someone who is very much unlike me (and the rest of the Filipinos here) but can actually sympathize with what I feel. We should not lose hope .It played on my mind over and over again. I wished it was a kababayan who said that.

Our conversation did not last that long, for she had to go to different place. We bid our goodbyes as she went down to the nearest bus stop. She might look different than what I would have normally expected, but she turned out to be a really good person. That was a conversation I was craving for in a long time. And now, I am hoping that I can meet her again at the bus stop, hoping to have another of those intellectual conversations we have shared. Because of this experience, I know that my bus rides will never be the same again.

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Originally published at Tinig, Issue 40, under the column, Ibayo.